Fun Things To Do In A Jump Plane

[Michael H.]

Fun Things to do in a Jump Plane

• Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
• Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
• Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
• Sell Girl Scout cookies.
• Beat out bongo rifts on your helmet.
• Unzip your jumpsuit part way, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
• One word: Flatulence!
• Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
• Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
• Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the plane hits turbulence.
• Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
• Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the plane.
• Ask each passenger getting on if you can pull their silver handle for them.
• Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
• Look around and ask "Is that your dytter?"
• Say "Announcing the Xth Floor!" each 1000'.
• Listen to the plane walls with a stethoscope.
• Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
• Ask the jumper next to you, "If you burn in into a forest, does it make a sound?”
• Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
• Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
• Make explosion noises.
• Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
• Sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" or "99 bottles of beer on the wall" in round.
• After everyone has taken off their seatbelts, connect mismatching pairs in consideration of the next load.
• Ask about the in-flight beverage choices, meal, and in-flight movie. Insist that you were told a meal would be served when you purchased your ticket.
• When jump run is announced, stand up and yell: "But I paid for a round trip ticket!"
• Play "enie, menie, miny, moe" while pointing the shiny silver handles of nearby jumpers.
• Hum Gregorian chants.
• When someone is spotting, point toward the horizon and innocently ask "Is that Mexico?"
• Moan, clutch your stomach, mutter "Oh damn, not motion sickness now." Then ask your neighbor if you can borrow his Factory Diver.
• When boarding the plane ask if you can have emergency row seating.
• After the first person exits, point out the door and exclaim "It's a bird, it's a plane, nah, just another f#$&in' toad."
• Cough then mutter "Don't worry the doctor said it can only be spread through physical contact."
• Pretend to pick lice out of your neighbors’ hair then eat them.
• Theorize (incorrectly) on why airplanes and square parachutes actually fly.
• Bow down and grovel before the local skygod.
• Play rock, paper, scissors - if no one will join you, play against yourself using both hands.
• Hand out labels that say "Plan B - Part 1" and "Plan B - Part 2" for everyone's cutaway and reserve handles.
• Have the other jumpers get the attention of the jumper furthest from you then wave and smile broadly.
• Turn to a student and say "Don't worry, the engine sounds 'much' better than it did yesterday."
• Sing "Edelweiss".
• Say to the jumper across from you, "All is in readiness, Comrade. This time we cannot fail!"
• Pick your nose and then hold your finger up to another jumper and ask, "Booger?”
• Tell the jumper next to you that skydiving is nothing compared the time when you were pinned down under a deadly hail of enemy fire.
• Speak into your altimeter then hold it to your ear and nod your head.
• Ask the other passengers in a thick German accent for their tickets.
• Shift around as you sit and announce that thongs are overrated.
• Talk about the parachute equipment you saw on the Home Shopping Channel.
• Sing "Rawhide" as the plane accelerates to takeoff.
• Start a petition demanding more altitude.
• Repetitively ask, "Are we there yet?"
• Tap furtively on the bulkhead and mutter, "Now where's that secret panel?"
• Try to hypnotize the jumper across from you.
• After you put your goggles on, act surprised, and say hello to the person across from you.
• Give the jumper next to you a "Wet-Willy".
• When the pilot announces jump run, advise the other jumpers to return their seats and tray tables to the full upright and locked position.
• Bring your own joystick and pretend you're flying the plane.
• Move your helmet past your neighbor's head and announce, "The Deathstar has cleared the planet".
• According to the stories of one of the jet loads at Quincy a couple of years ago...
• Solve quadratic equations aloud.

"Relax, you're supposed to be having fun." - Overheard on the plane, said by an Instructor to a Student.

[Francis Farmer]

These are good!

[kathy]

After 1000ft hold out your helmet and ask for donations to fix the plane.

[Cj]

Now that's a good one

[Francis Farmer]

I'll never forget, on one of my static line progession jumps, my jm asked me what the most important thing to do was? I said have fun, he said hell no, pull the ripcord. duh

[Melody Scarborough]

The new guy not knowing a particular jump is called a horney gorella, asked me if we could do 2 monkeys fucking for his 100th jump. : 0

[Melody Scarborough]

Ok, so i think we are going to do 2 monkeys fucking!

[Mao Alexandra Iancu]

hehe funny...
some of my friends brought a bag with mixed food in the airplane. And he act like he is puking in that bag..then ate the "puke" from bag:)) haha with his hands...
What a mess....few people got sick until they taste the joke:))))))

Or just take a handle from tandems in the plane..then show it to another tandem master...he will freak out a little:)